When Do I Get My Epiphany?

It hasn't been an easy few days. My eating has been so-so. It's been better and it's been worse, but things on the exercise front and the losing weight front are not join as planned. The whole not weighing myself thing went out the window. Last time I weighed myself I was 90.2kg. That's about a 1/2 lb heavier than I was on April 1. And it's frustrating me.

Admittedly I've only gotten to the gym maybe 6 times this month and my eating although not horrible could be better.

Last Saturday we had people over for a BBQ. The weather actually turned out to be beautiful. I had two beers. They're white beers with a little bit of a fruity flavor. They're delicious and perfect for an almost summertime BBQ.

This is some of the food cooking. I made kabobs with yellow and green peppers, onions and mushrooms. I ate an entire kabob which was full of delicious grilled vegetables. The meat in the picture is marinated bacon. We don't have any bacon like this in the states. It's very thick and I can't really explain it, but it's delicious. 

At the BBQ I had 1/2 a chicken breast, 1 piece of the bacon pictures, 1 sausage, and a small portion of ribs. I also had salad, and potato salad. I also had 3 pieces of baguette. That was my biggest accomplishment. Usually I fill up on bread way too early and then seriously overeat, but I strategically set it on the other side of the table so that I had to ask for it if I wanted some, and honestly, I really didn't miss it. 

I also had dessert. A snickers ice cream bar. 

Sunday was Easter so Rogier and I had brunch around 11. 

I had a hardboiled egg and with some buns. It was delicious and very Dutch. 

Easter Sunday, Rogier and I went to Belgium to go to a market. While we were there I finally tried poffertjes. They're mini pancakes. Everyone says they were delicious and I had never tried them, but I've been wanting to and there was a stand at the market making fresh ones so I tried them. 

That's them being cooked. What you see is two portions. I got 14 mini pancakes. 

I had no idea the guy was going to put that much powdered sugar. Rogier says that if you order them in Holland they come with much less powdered sugar. Either way they were delicious and I was glad I finally got to try them. They were also served with a little mini easter egg, which I didn't eat. My chocolate snob self didn't want the milk chocolate. 

So eating hasn't been spectacular, but it's definitely been worse. 

I went to the gym on Monday and did 30 minutes of cardio and an arm routine. Yesterday I had my Dutch driving exam, which I passed! I had plans to go to the gym after the exam, but it didn't happen.

This morning I had a terrible headache and generally feel like crap so I skipped the gym and had plans to take a long walk, but my ankle is acting up again. It isn't swollen, but it definitely hurts to walk. So today I'm going to get out my yoga mat, and do some ab work and some arms, nothing that puts pressure on my ankle. 

I've also been having these feelings of dread about going to the gym. If I wake up in the middle of the night I think "what can I do to sleep in and not have to go to the gym today." Those are not positive or healthy thoughts. I think my gym routine is becoming a bit stagnant. It's always the same. So I have a plan. 

Next week I'm going to try a few classes in the morning. I have made a plan to go to Yoga next Tuesday and try to continue going every Tuesday morning. I'm also planning on trying an XCO, body combat, and something called burn. I'm going to pick two of those three to do with yoga so I'll take yoga and one other class a week and add that into my gym rotation. 

Hopefully that helps. We'll see. I'm still waiting for that great epiphany on this lifestyle change is worth it and when I'm feeling deprived it's all in my head and I'm not depriving my body of anything and that it's getting all of the nutrition it needs. 

So when do I get this epiphany I read about on other blogs? When does it finally click?