Shaking Off My Insecurities

A few months ago I was in the gym and I had just finished my 30 minutes of cardio and was moving to the weights when a man stopped me and asked me something. I couldn't hear what he said so I took my headphones out and said "sorry."  He then repeated himself but because my Dutch was still so limited at the time I couldn't understand what he said.  I politely told him I didn't speak Dutch and then he repeated himself in English, "Why are you lifting weights?" This is how the conversation progressed.. 

me: "Because it will help me reach my fitness goals."
random stranger: "You seem like you're here for the same reason as my wife, you want to           lose weight, right?"
me: "Yes, that is one of my fitness goals."
random stranger: "If you want to lose weight you shouldn't lift weights. You should just do cardio."
me: "Well thank you for your opinion, but I think I'll continue to do it my way and I believe your views about health, fitness and weight loss are a little outdated."

I then put my headphones back in and walked away and I was fuming made. I was shaking and nearly in tears. I honestly couldn't believe the nerve of this man. When you assume that someone is at the gym to lose weight, you're making your personal opinion known, and when your opinion is that someone needs to lose weight you should keep it to yourself. It is rude to point out to a complete stranger that they need to lose weight.  There's no other way around it.  I do believe that this man had good intentions, but not only did he go about trying to help me in the wrong way, his information was wrong, just plain wrong. 

Woman should strength train to help with weight loss.  It's a simple equation.  Muscle burns more calories than fat so just by increasing your muscle mass you will burn more calories.  Also my only fitness goal isn't to lose weight, I want to be fit and healthy and just because you lose a bunch of weight doesn't mean you're either of those things. 

After this encounter I stopped going to the gym for a few weeks and when I eventually did return I went at a different time in hopes of avoiding the man.  I could have and should have handled the situation better, but I didn't. The one thing I learned from this experience and through this blog is that the opinion of other's isn't as important as society makes it out to be.  When I first decided I wanted to try blogging again and really make something of it Rogier told me to share it with all my friends and family and my reaction was, my weight is on there, that's so embarrassing. I can't do that. 

That's when it hit me if people are truly my friends they already know that I'm overweight and that I've been trying to lose weight and they love and care about me, despite of all that. If a random person happens to stumble across my blog and think something negative about me, well that says more about him or her than it does about me.  

A huge part of this journey is learning to be comfortable in my own skin, at any size, and I think I'm making progress.  

On a happier note, I reached my first fitness goal today!! 3 sets of 5 pushups. It's not much but a goal is a goal and progress is progress no matter how small. My next goal will be 2 sets of 10 pushups, but that will take some working up to. I think I'm up for the challenge.  

Have you ever had someone inappropriately comment about your weight or fitness goals? How did you handle it? 

Smaller Goals, Smaller Steps

I recently had someone ask me if I had smaller weight loss goals i.e. lose 3kg (about 7lb) in March. My response was no, I only have an ending weight loss goal.  This person then told me that if I make smaller goals I will be more likely to reach my overall goal. I've been spending a lot of time thinking about this the past few days and I haven't decided how I feel. I could very easily make a weight loss goal to weigh 90kg (198lb) by the end of March. But then there's this big looming question, what if I fail? 

What if I fail? That's the thing that echoes in my mind. In my previous weight loss attempts it has been the failure to complete a goal that has made me fall of the wagon.  I feel like my commitment is stronger than it has ever been, but I'm still cautious.  

This all comes at a time where I'm currently becoming frustrated with my weight loss efforts. My weight has been the same since last friday. This is the first week since the middle of January that I haven't lost any weight. I know that these things happen and that it's a normal part of the weight loss process, but knowing that and accepting it are two different things.  

I think I will set a 3kg goal for the end of March. I will however keep my focus on doing the right things to maintain my health, which, despite my weight, is better than ever before. My main purpose in this journey is a desire to be healthy and live a long vital life and weight loss is part of that road to health. That's what I have to focus on now. 

Do you think smaller goals help in reaching the bigger goal? 

Fajitas, it's what's for dinner

I've been having some serious cravings for Mexican food.  When I lived in Richmond I ate at a Mexican restaurant probably once a week maybe sometimes every other week.  I could't get enough of the chips, salsa, queso and fried chimichangas.  When I joined weight watchers (more on that later). I continued to eat out frequently but changed what I ordered.  My new Mexican favorite became fajitas.

The best part about fajitas is that they're super easy to make and if you leave out heaps of cheese, sour cream, and rice they're actually pretty healthy.

I started by cutting one chicken breast into strips.  

I sprayed a non-stick skillet with coconut oil and cooked the strips on medium heat until they were done.  

While the chicken was cooking I cut up red, yellow and green peppers into strips. 

I then cut up a yellow onion into strips.  

After the chicken was done cooking I added the peppers and onion to the skillet

look at all that deliciousness 

While the peppers were cooking I took my fajita seasoning and mixed it with 100ml water

seasoning recipe can be found here

Add water and seasoning mixture to skillet and cook until water is gone

I only used 1/2 the mixture, the other half went to almost hubby's (he won't eat peppers)

This is my finished product after it was done cooking

The plan was for Rogier to have tacos and me to have fajitas without any tortilla's. I do eat tortilla's and I usually make them myself but I find that I sometimes like the fajitas better without a tortilla so I skipped it today. Anyway, we had a slight taco mishap... 

Apparently Rogier dropped the taco box and then drubbed a can of veggies on it. He says he told me, but I obviously forgot.  I'm not sure why he didn't just throw them away, men. So he ended up having Nachos. I topped the fajitas with 1/2 an avocado, diced tomato and a dollop of creme freche for a hint of cool. 

Delicious and healthy!

It was a very satisfying and healthy meal. Fajitas are so simple to make and easily adaptable: chicken, steak, shrimp or vegetarian. Add in as many fresh vegetables as you want, that just makes it healthier.  Avoid the calorie bombs that come in the form of lots of cheese, rice and too much sour cream.  

On the weight loss front things are going really well. My weight is still trending down even if it's not going as fast as I like.  I did a spin class at the gym today. Wednesday is my set spin day.  We have a love hate relationship, but I always feel awesome once I've completed one. Hopefully my legs will be mobile enough to get in another great gym session tomorrow.  

Happy hump day everyone, we're half way to the weekend :)

Babe, Hide the Chocolate

Does anyone know where I can buy some self control? When it comes to chocolate I have literally zero. Living in the southern part of The Netherlands has turned me into something of a chocolate snob. The chocolate here is pretty much the same as Belgium chocolate because it's so close to Belgium. When it comes to eating plain chocolate I have to eat dark, I do not find milk chocolate (that I used to eat by the bagful) at all appealing.

I eat chocolate every day or pretty close to everyday. It makes me feel less deprived and lots of studies show that people who eat chocolate daily weigh less than people who don't AND dark chocolate is full of antioxidants. That's a win-win in my book.

This win-win situation, however, is only win-win if I don't eat an entire bar of hot chocolate in one night.  I eat one to two pieces an evening after dinner.  I'm sad to admit that I have zero self control and because I spend most of my days at home alone I have to have Rogier hide the chocolate from me.  Sad but it is what it is.  Anyway, last night Rogier and I went to the store to buy some miscellaneous things and I also bought a 82% dark chocolate bar.  I ended up eating 4 squares before I finally asked (told) Rogier to hide it from me.

I'm not counting it as a whole healthy day disaster but I did have some guilt about it afterward.  Today is a new day and so far it's been going better.  I had a great workout at the gym this morning and have been on track health wise all day.

How do you handle feelings of food guilt after an accidental binge? How do you recover?

Still on Track

This is probably one of the longest on track streaks I've had in all of my weight loss attempts, and I plan on using that as motivation to keep going, keep progressing and keep seeing progress.  

Last night's dinner was spaghetti with a baked chicken breast. When some people diet they complete forgo carbs. I'm a carb junky so that isn't possible for me and I tend to think that pasta gets a bad wrap. My personal opinion is that carbs are not the devil and can be eaten as part of a healthy diet. I choose to live with no off limit foods. It helps me feel less deprived and then I don't overeat when those foods inevitably get put in front of me.  

This is how I do pasta: 

Whole wheat pasta in an appropriate serving size (that's up for you to determine based on your goals and needs) I did about 1 cup of spaghetti cooked, and probably could have done with a little less.  

The other mistake I think people make with pasta, other than too many noodles, is just using a jar of sauce and not adding anything to it.  

This is what I do before I add sauce.  I sauté mushrooms, onions and colored peppers in a bit of olive oil. Once they're cooked I add a sauce to the veggies.  This veggie boost makes the pasta extra filling and delicious.  You can do what ever kind of vegetables you want and find tasty.  

Also be careful what is in the sauce you're using.  I do think that organic and natural products are important, but completely understand not being able to afford those products, as I currently can't myself, but always always always read the ingredient labels of what you buy.  A lot of jarred pasta sauces have tons of unnecessary sugar.  Another good option is to buy crushed or diced tomatoes and make a quick simple easy sauce yourself. The best part of this weight loss journey is that I get to try all sorts of different foods and recipes. 

This was my final product: 

You can't even see the pasta because there's so much sauce on top. That to me is a better pasta dinner than tons of noodles with a little bit of sauce. The chicken breast I baked with a little bit of oil. This piece of chicken was actually cut in half through the middle, so it's only half a chicken breast, 100g (3.5oz), an appropriate serving size even though it looks really big.  

Today was a successful gym day despite my nearly horrific tumble off the weight bench. I was doing leg drops and when I went from sitting on the bench to lean back I lost my balance and almost fell off the bench. I was ungracefully able to save myself complete with a leg in the air. I'm sure it was a beautiful picture, luckily I think I managed to do it all without anybody seeing me. 

I'm very happy with the progress I'm making and the way things are going.  

Do you think carbs are the ultimate anti diet food? How do you deal with carbs while trying to lose weight? 

Happy Monday :) 

Sunday Funday

Sunday is probably my favorite day of the week.  I usually have a chance to sleep in a little and do lots of relaxing.  My fiancee and I always start Sundays off with a long walk, at least 5km and one hour, but usually we do more.  This Sunday was no different and the weather was beautiful so I thoroughly enjoyed it.  Walking is probably one of my favorite ways to work out and getting to do it outside when the sun shining makes it even better.  This was today's workout..

Our pace was slightly slower than usual, but we were not always walking on a flat surface. We walk through the woods and it was very muddy, sometimes steep and rarely flat which makes walking for speed a little bit harder, but a work out is a work out.  

One thing I say today was a lot of people running.  I've been trying to progress from a walker to a runner for about 3 weeks.  I'm up to the point of running for 3 minutes, walking 2, and running 3 etc. I can repeat this 3 times for 15 minutes.  I'm hoping that over the next week I might be able to increase my running time and decrease my walking time.  I loathe running, really, but I know it's healthy and good for me and I keep reading about that point you get to as a runner where it's not like running but more like floating or flying.  I want to reach that.  That's my goal for this year and once I am able to run for a mile or so at a time I plan on starting some half marathon training, but because running is still so challenging I don't have any set plans, for now it's simple: just be able to run a mile straight without stopping (tentative time goal of 12 minutes).  

My eating habits have been okay this weekend.  We went to a dinner party last night.  The food was relatively healthy.  I had a small salad with fresh greens, mushrooms, chicken and dressing (which was probably the worst part), we then had spinach soup, then I had probably 6oz pork loin with hutspot (a traditional dutch dish made of onion, carrot, and potato) and finally dessert was an individual homemade apple crumble with vanilla vla (Dutch style pudding, slightly thinner than in The States).  It was delicious and extremely satisfying, but I still found myself snacking after dinner on the provided nuts, crackers and brie.  All in all I don't think I did too badly, but there's definitely room for improvement. 

This is hutspot. It's delicious and healthy. This is not my serving though! I forgot my phone so I improvised with a picture from Google.  

How do you guys handle dinner parties when you have no control over what is being provided? 

A New Beginning

It's been just about a year since I've attempted blogging, but I think it's time to give it another go. I've become addicted to several bloggers, not all weight loss, but their inspirational stories and seeing the encouragement they get from others has drawn me back in.

My weight this morning was 93.3kg, which is somewhere right around 205lbs. This is my lowest weight since my Sophmore year of college, almost 6 years ago. I'd say that's quite an accomplishment and deserves a jump of joy! What's an even bigger accomplishment is that just 3 weeks ago I was 96.5kg.

Just over three weeks ago I had my first appointment with a dietician. I am a registered nurse and know quite a bit about nutrition and healthy eating (doing it for myself has always been the problem).  The Netherlands, where I'm currently living, however, has very different ideas about what healthy eating is. My dietician wants me to eat two bread meals a day. You read that correctly, bread meals twice a day.  Nobody would tell you to do that in America. I've been following her advice and it's been working though, so I'm going to go with it.  The bread here is very different. It's much healthier, made with much less sugar, and bought fresh from the baker.

I've also been using My Fitness Pal to track my calories, work outs and I try and keep my net calories (the calories after what I've eaten and what I've burned off) between 1200 and 1500. I tend to try and keep it to the lower end to make up for the miscalculations that occur. I tend to think that the My Fitness Pal counts too many calories in exercise and not enough for food, but so far it's working.

I plan on trying to keep my posts around 4-5 a week.  My next post will be about PCOS, the illness I have that makes losing weight, for me, doubly hard.